You Haven't Missed A Step: PAGE 120

 

As with most of my writings, I post this page as a reminder to myself-

and especially to those whose hope feels lost to the unimaginable.

May we all find a revelation today!

“Lord, make it so!”

___________________________________

While reading this morning, I came upon a piercing proclamation, which stated, “You haven’t missed a step”.  I really took this to heart because it was a pivotal piece of information I’ve been waiting for. This is profound news for all of us who find ourselves in a place of uncertainty. We wandering Christians can trust this statement because we believe in a sovereign God who pays attention to details. We just forget sometimes!

Due to said forgetfulness, we are prone to ask the opposite question:  Did I miss something?  I’ve been asking myself this question as well as others such as “What did I overlook, fail to do or even fail to believe that landed me in my current state”. My circumstance is different than yours but we’ve all found ourselves in a place where we’ve asked searching questions, even if just inwardly, as we desperately look for an answer or just some understanding about our current issue.  

Here, in the middle of my life, I’d hit a wall.  My personal journey has always been based on faith in God and propelled by the belief in a sovereign God. But recently, I’d come to a place where I felt I’d missed something important; the sustainability of my faith had come to a place filled with inner conflict and I began to doubt.  Today’s good news, that I have not missed a step, stopped me in my tracks and gave me comfort.  It allowed me to sidestep doubt and keep moving forward in faith. I realigned myself with the fact that my life has great purpose and chose to step back into the provision and protection of God's sovereignty.  

As God would have it, on this very day, I have come to an important realization; Not everything is in my control.  If it were, I’d be God, Himself. For those of us who are desperate for some form of control....my advice is this; surrender your tender heart and troubled mind to the One who sustains our very existence. Do I realize that to do so will feel contrary and heartbreaking? Oh, YES I do!  I know this by recalling the lack of control I felt when I watched one of my best friends bury her teenaged son and the years it took her to find a way to live without him.  I can look to my long-time friend who has been in a wheel-chair for over 22 years and say I get that some things are infuriating to accept. I can pour tears of heartbreak and loss over my sister and not one but two brothers, and their wives, who lost a child and confess I know this pain well.  This world can dish out vengeance and our courageous self wants to rise up and fight to the gates of death, battling to outwit these outrageous situations. To NOT do so could inevitably keep us in a position where we'd never rise again. 

But, like the events above, what can we actually do if we find ourselves in mind-bending circumstances that are out of our control?  The only insight I have found is that we must surrender any idea of control over these types of circumstances to a power beyond us. Sometimes we have to admit we’ve reached the limits of our personal power and in doing so we free ourselves to step straight into the supernatural. I had a personal moment with God during the loss of one of my nephews where the Holy Spirit led my brother and then myself to the scripture in Isaiah 43:13 that states “yes, and from ancient days I am he. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act who can reverse it.” THAT is profound and spoken with true authority that is completely sovereign! Pause for moment and think about that! 

 In times like this and with no other choice we surrender to God.  With all other hope extinguished we seek The Lord.  With nothing else to battle with we fall to our knees and admit we are powerless as we turn to the supernatural abilities of God. The Commander of an Army of Angels meets us in THIS place.  It is not a visible meeting but a spiritual one that brings with it a battle plan.  It is not with tangible tools we gain some understanding but with intangible things such as faith, hope, trust and prayer.  It is not with great courage but with bravery to admit we are frightened that we do such things.  

I say to you, “Open up you Living Gateways” (see 2 Corinthians 6:11-13).  Make room for the ultimate control you are looking for.  Your greatest and best hopes cannot rise above the unimaginable dreams God has for you.  Do not be dismayed, for "The Lord your God is with you; He is a mighty warrior who saves" Zephaniah 3:17 He is your Creator, your Father, your Redeemer, your Healer, your very present help in times of trouble. Place your hope and your literal life into the hands of God, for He is Spirit and it is within the sovereignty of His Sanctuary that you will "live, move and have your being".

"The commander of the Lord's army said to Joshua,

'Take off your sandals from your feet

for the place where you are standing is holy.'

Joshua 5:15

"God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble."

Psalm 46:1

"For in him we live move and have our being."

Acts 17:28

"God is spirit, and his worshipers must 

worship in Spirit and truth."

John 4:24

Song Recommendation:

This is a Move

BY:  Brandan Lake & Tasha Cobbs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLkHygFqQno&list=RDEM9oHtDtDU6gfs_tKC33RLwA&index=12

A Privilege To Pray PAGE 119

 “You cannot repeat the name of Jesus too often.

  What a privilege it is to kneel
and get right into heaven the moment we pray, 
Where glory descends, the fire burns,
Faith is active and the light dispels the darkness.”1

The above quote is a beautiful word-picture of what happens when we open our mouths and minds to pray. Following the pattern of the sentences, we see that we evoke a privilege when we pray.  We step into a heavenly place, with spiritual significance.  The Power of God arrives, described as glory.  When I think of God’s glory, I imagine an awe that is indescribable.  So, with prayer we find ourselves in an indescribable place of holiness and awe, where the presence of The Holy Spirit brings forth the passion, or fire, of our holy God. 

As we draw close to the Lord with prayer, we ignite hope that all our fears and deepest needs are heard. The righteousness of God frees our very being as we step out of the darkness of our concern into the lightness and weightlessness of his love.  Prayer is other-worldly and with great faith we open ourselves up to be instilled with an unfathomable understanding that God cares, hears and knows our deepest needs. With reverence, I've learned there is healing found here!

 Prayer is a fascinating conversation-for we are speaking with God.  It is a holy meeting that trumps all other forms of communication.  With our first words, “Dear Heavenly Father” we step into another realm. Indeed, we can pray in such a way that we are sure our words have reached heaven.  It’s a spiritual knowing that takes us into a place where we are stunned into quietness. No other words are needed and a peaceful assurance sits within our minds; we have no other thoughts, just a stillness and relief. 

Scripture says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  Prayer is a heart issue; a sincerity issue. Our prayer life is important; it is relational and it builds intimacy. Allow your prayers to reach heaven.  Don’t let your words bounce off the ceiling because of doubt; seek Him with all your, heart, soul and strength.  Be purposed and intentional. Be honest with yourself and transparent with God.  Our Father knows our needs, even before we pray yet still wants to hear our prayers.  Trust and begin. Pour out your prayers like water. Let your words easily flow, as from a waterfall of truth, and allow God to peer into your trembling heart.  I am certain that the moment you sincerely pray you are sincerely heard.  Why? Because He cares for YOU! 

“Humble yourselves, therefore,
 under God’s mighty hand
That he may life you up in due time.
Cast all your anxiety on him
 because he cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:6-7

“Call to me and I will answer you
And tell you great and unsearchable things
You do not know.”
Jeremiah 33:3

“Arise, cry out in the night,
As the watches of the night begin;
Pour out your heart like water
In the presence of the Lord.” 
Lamentations 2:19

Song Recommendation:
You are For Me
BY: Kari Jobe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbSMfL5LuSo

To inspire HB:

The Lord cares for you and hears YOUR prayers!

 

"The Lord your God is with you,

the Might Warrior who saves."

 Zephaniah 3:17

1-Smith Wigglesworth Devotional; 1999 by Whitacker House

Don't Hesitate At Thresholds PAGE 118

 "God is able to do far more

than we could ever ask for or imagine.

He does everything by his power that is working in us."

Ephesians 3: 20

I’ve been praying for a long while now seeking God’s counsel on many things.  Frankly, I’ve been seeking His counsel on most things.  But what I’ve also done is sit still in uncertainty as time passed.  My sitting still included some suffering and my suffering became “long suffering”, which is self-explanatory.

What do we do after we seek the Lord through prayer and petition? Do we wait? Do we wonder? Do we worry? Do our thoughts become twisted inside our minds leading to uncertainty? I’ll confess this has happened to me many times. In fact, due to lack of knowledge, I’ve taken this approach for years. Then, I’d be forced to wait for my life's circumstances to unravel, then begin again, not really making much progress along the way. 

 But through wise counsel I’ve come to some sage advice that makes sense for all of us in the modern world: Once we have an issue on our mind, and we’ve prayed, studied, and even waited to hear a clear directive, the next step of obedience is to rise up and literally take the next step.  Decision-making is part of the path in walking this out, but we often wonder to ourselves, “What is God’s will?”, making His wisdom seem difficult to understand or implement.  I’ve even used the analysis paralysis technique which included logical thoughts such as, “How can I be obedient to God when I cannot hear his audible voice?”.

Recently, I was advised to stop seeking revelation because I already have godly knowledge and that it is time for me to move out, to move on, to do the very thing I know I need to do. Simply put, I needed to start; just begin. Frankly, this advice seemed too simple and certainly gave me pause. For years, I'd chosen the self-righteousness path.  What is that?  I tried to position myself into the right standing.  I tried, through my own tenacity, to make myself smart enough, righteous enough, holy enough. I was trying to do what could only be accomplished through the bestowed grace of God. My self-righteous attitude was wrong and therefore my action plan was off.

A while back, I came across an interesting quote that I jotted down, “Don’t hesitate at thresholds.” In its context, it is a poetic way to say "Step into the room" or “Take the next step!” It was a wake-up call of sorts pointing out that when I choose to sit still in indecision I am actually hesitating in doubt. Regarding spiritual purposes, I needed to accept that I was not going to be righteous enough using my own intellect or logic. This is called surrender. To the contrary, my Wait-It-Out mode of operation, which included counting on me to eventually feel up to the task, spiritually or otherwise, was wasting my time. Note: Waiting till we feel qualified enough or prepared enough to meet certain standards will keep all of us in a perpetual state of waiting. This is truly a vicious cycle that can lead to inaction; and that is exactly what I've been doing, making my being qualified for godly pursuits contingent on me. With my hang-ups and insecurities, sitting in a posture of “wait & see” seemed like a good idea. I was waiting on God; however, God was waiting on me.  

In regards to this writing, what are some examples of thresholds? For me the answers are: Longing to be good enough, righteous enough, qualified enough, etc.  I’m speaking to both of us when I say, we don’t need to wait for a holy push.  We can just take the next, small step of faith by doing the next propelling  thing and watch as God provides for us inside our current circumstances. It’s easy and not complicated.  It’s safe and not overwhelming.  We can do it. We can accomplish godliness safely within our lives with one decision to just start.  Take one step.  One step at a time, in the right direction. One choice with the faith that God is with us and He is speaking to us in our circumstances, in our daily lives, in these exact choices. Just trust that He will show up where we are, within the need that seems so pressing at the moment.  

One of the keys to stepping out is actually trust.  It’s about faithfulness in and of God.  Where there is faith there is trust and therefore a confidence that allows us to move forward.  We must trust our God enough to start.  AND, we must trust that God trusts us enough to honor our decisions, especially the hard decisions and circumstances in which we find ourselves.  

In summary, my latest revelation is this: Because I trust God...I can trust ME.  I can move out doing the next correct thing.  I can just simply start; my next project, my next goal, my next writing, or even my next dream.... and as I do so blessings flow from there. God steps out with me. The courage of God propels me and the protection of God provides for me.  It is all present-tense. These types of provisional stepping stones build upon each other...but they will never reveal themselves if we do not move out, in the moment and just start. Once we do, all our necessary provisions will be provided. Our very faith in God tells us ‘anything is possible’.  Personally, I have missed the clarity of this for years. 

SONG RECOMMENDATION:

More Than Able

BY: Elevation Worship

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ1xxoP7NJk

Words to More Than Able:

“I’ve come along way...

I’ve seen how you work.

There’s so much goodness and grace...

much more than I deserve....

‘cause I know who I am...

and I can’t stay where I’m at.

We’ve come this far by faith

and I just can’t turn back!

‘Cause You're not done with me yet.

You're not done with me yet.

There’s so much more to this story....

You’re not done with me yet.”

“Who am I to deny what the Lord can do”

BY THE GRACE OF GOD PAGE 117

 

It took years for me to understand a deep spiritual truth regarding my life in contrast and in conjunction to Jesus Christ.  When I first begin the journey of understanding Christianity, as a kid, the entire function seemed to target getting a confession of sin through the bold preaching and the verbal confirmation, “I am a sinner.” As a child, it felt shame-based and condemning.  At the same time, it was conflicting because I was supposed to feel “joy, joy, joy, joy down in my soul”.  If you were raised in church you’ll get that little tune stuck in your head today. 

Bear with me as I hone in on an idea:  There is a premise put forward in a famous book that implies that once we recognize something within ourselves, on conscious level, we can overcome it, as needed. I recognized that I was a sinner using my logical mind and reason but truthfully the logic of it was as deep as I could get so I ruminated there for years, never overcoming.  Looking back, I do wonder how a child is to understand deep spiritual truths except by blind faith.

The truth I lived out was "I am a sinner". I simply didn't move beyond that. As I got older, my life-style  confirmed I was a sinner so I sinned. It seemed self-fulfilling and it was.  I soon recognized that I was going to feel guilt and shame no matter what I did so sin was perpetuated. The next steps in theology didn't penetrate my heart or soul.  My ole friend, condemnation, was always there to shine an inner spotlight on my failings and I just assumed this was a normal part of the Christian process. This is an awful way to live. Obviously, I was missing something pivotal as a "Christian" as I paved my way to hell. 

 When processing through the steps of faith we can get stuck in the sinner's section and believe we deserve it;  I’ll confess that I did. The process really must go further than that.... but I stayed imprisoned in the realm of sin and often heard voices shouting “You need a savior”, which only reminded me of what I already knew; I wasn’t good enough. 

Why after all those years of church attendance did I not know about the Grace of God?  Why was I never directed to the true path of redemption and restoration?  The answer is, “I don’t know.” All I can say it I was blinded to that truth. Yes, I know this is shocking, because the point of Christianity is that I am to find The Way.  I am supposed to find the light, the hope and the love of it all.  But, for years and years I didn’t.

I believe that the teachings we receive can keep us chained in condemnation and never move us into the grace phase and this is what happened. I wonder if you can relate to this.  I internalized condemnation for years. I was very well versed in the sinner/sinning, "the wages of sin is death", the “we have all fallen short of God’s glory” phase and never knew or recognized the HUGE mechanism of God's Grace which when finally grasped was the very door I was worthlessly beaten up and thrown against. It was there that I met my Savior. 

Sure, I needed to recognize I was a sinner but I also needed to have the light of grace seek and find me, like the lost child I was. When I became consciously aware of God's Grace, His Light moved into my spirit and after years of being lost I was found.  It was the very moment I had been waiting for; the mechanism of a Spiritual Truth that I had been reckless to find. 

 I found this verse and it became a beacon of hope:

“But for the Grace of God I am what I am 

and His grace to me has not been without effect”. 

1 Corinthians 15:10

The point of the writing is for us to recognize that there is a way out of the pit of sin and a path to restoration that begins with grace.  It is through the recognition of a spiritual truth that it is only through the bestowed Grace of God we are saved.  There is nothing I could ever do or strive to become to earn it.  There was nothing that I could ever find intellectually that could explain it for me ..... for grace doesn’t seem logical to a dying person.  It is spiritually discerned and received. A gifting of something we can never earn but only accept with our heart and mind, when we come to the end of logic itself! THAT IS GRACE. 

“For it is by grace you have been saved,

through faith--

and this is not from yourselves

it is the gift of God.”

Ephesians 2:8

SONG RECOMMENDATION:

HOLY WATER

BY: WE THE KINGDOM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC93W6EqH3c

The Light of Your Face PAGE 116

“It was not by their sword that they won the land,
Nor did their arm bring them victory;
It was your right hand, your arm,
 and the light of your face,
for you loved them.”
Psalms 44: 3

The above scripture is a beautiful explanation of God’s favor.  It tells us that within this battle, the warriors did not win victory by their own strength but through the light-filled favor and love of God. We’ve all probably had an experience wherein we received something we did not earn and this may have baffled us.  Here in the present time we are not too familiar with receiving something we didn’t work for. Frankly, many of us don’t want to receive anything we didn’t earn.  We make life hard when we tread around like that.   If we do receive a favor from someone, we shake our heads and state, “So and so did me a favor”. Man, it’s hard to accept a favor and we wonder why someone would do so anyway?  We question it, don’t we. Or is it just me?

Through a recent study I learned that God’s favor is bestowed into our lives.  Bestowed; an interesting word.  It means an honor or a gift that is presented to others. Let me express with deep awe that it is an honor when favor is bestowed. With clarity we see that this type of favor is not earned.  It is a gift.  In the example above, God presented His favor over these warriors as they battled to win some territory.  But why?  The answer is tucked in the last phrase of scripture, “for you (God) loved them.” It’s as simple as that.  This example is perfect for us in the modern world because aren’t we also striving to win some territory here and there, whether it be a literal place or territory within some emotional or spiritual space. 

It gives me peace to know that love is what inspires the favor of God. It inspires Him so much so that His face has the beautiful countenance of Light.  Instinctively, we are moved to bestow love upon others and we recognize that this flows from a well-lit place within us, where goodness and kindness dwell.  We are moved to share our time, our hopes, dreams, gifts and even our help to others.  We bestow our attention and generosity and do so out of a genuine place of care and concern.  We do this for our children, our spouses, our extended family and friends.  We do this because we know it’s important. This choice brings forth a light from within us that shines out and upon others.  It simply makes things better; life brighter.

Let’s recognize, that just like our God, love is what inspires us as well.  Let’s continue to bestow favor and kindness upon others.  Let’s do it for the sake of love; for the sake of ALL that is worthy; for the light-filled honor that such favor sends out in this dark world. 

“In the same way,
Let your light shine before others
So that they may see
Your good works and give glory to your father 
Who is in heaven.”
Matthew 5:16

AMAZING SONG (*A must listen to*)
IN AWE
BY: HOLLYN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKbbRbd2dQs

A Monstrous Substitution PAGE 115

What are you doing with your life?  Are you looking for something yet feel you don’t know what you’re seeking?  Are you struggling on the daily and only occasionally stop to ask yourself why you are striving and struggling so much; What is the end-goal?  Is there something in our souls that propel us to do this?  What are we looking for?  What are we running to…or from?  What are we doing with our lives? 

The Book, The Pursuit of God, states that we have made a monstrous substitution in regards to life’s purpose and therefore have missed the meaning of life.  

“The roots of our hearts have grown down into things,
 and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die.
Things have become necessary to us,
 a development never originally intended. 
 God’s gifts now take the place of God,
 and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution.” 

I cannot understate the awe found in the depth of the statement that the “whole course of nature is upset by” our horrific substitution.  The scriptural antidote is this;

“If any man will come after me,
Let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: 
And whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it.”
Matt. 16: 24-25

As a wandering wonderer, I can only reason out this riddle of sorts through hope that I’m following the right path.  The tyranny of materialism beckons and we hear it’s call plainly.  The spiritual call of an ancient God is harder to discern. The closets of our lives are filled with things we don’t need and the recesses of our minds are lacking the recognition of gifts that can only be placed in us by the One true God.  We can all say that in some way we have substituted ‘things’ for what is godly.  

A.W. Tozer, writer of The Pursuit of God, explains; “the only effective way to destroy this foe; it is by the cross.” We cannot break the yoke of oppression, which is visible and found in our striving, our longing and feelings of need, by seeking to attain more. That seeking of More, in and of itself, is the Oppressor; the foe.  We must rid ourselves of this modern Oppressor, which, ironically, is Self.  That Self that wants and wants and really doesn’t know what it wants. That Self that has bought into the lifestyle of seeking but never attaining enough; of striving for the end goal but not knowing the End Goal.  It’s madness. 

I find it interesting that humans have always sought out the meaning of life.  If we could just stand still, in the position of listening, and drown out every single sound in the way of our hearing….we could recognize a simple truth- that every single moment of our striving is for naught.  "We brought nothing into this world and we can take nothing out."  "We have everything we need within us for life and godliness" but it’s this external world screaming for our attention that’s gotten our attention.  Why?  Because this fallen world is the very antithesis of godliness.

The good news is that there are laws at work that demand balance. Here is one scientific law we’ve all been taught and can understand; “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”  For example, if there is a striving then this law indicates that there is a ceasing. That is the exact premise.   There is an opposite position in this realm that stands in contrast to the chaos our material pursuit; it is the surrendering to the scriptural truth that through Christ we have all we need and that we can find Rest in that.  We just need to recognize that we, indeed, have all we need. It sounds too easy because it is. Can you imagine the feeling of relief in this world if we all just ceased our striving and returned our hearts to the honorable pursuit of loving God and loving others?  It is truly that simple yet we complicate it in ways that are all too familiar and specific for each of us. 

Another cataclysmic problem is, the world doesn’t want us to recognize there’s a way out of this tyranny because it wants! It wants our attention, our money, our hard work and our time.  This world and its promises of fulfillment are like clanging cymbols of distraction that want our constant attention.  The here and now is all we have.  Let's stop and put and end to all this striving. God is the God of rest.  Peace is His countenance and love His center-point.  If peace and love are not propelling us in all we do-then we have lost our way in this fallen world. This, too, is a monstrous substitution.  

Song Recommendation:

First Things First

BY: Consumed By Fire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyF1g6l0AKo

“Peace I leave you;
my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled 
and do not be afraid. 

John 14:27

I have told you these things,
So that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart!
I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

Where There Is No Vision PAGE 114

In Proverbs 29:18, scripture says, “Where there is no vision the people perish.” Perish means to suffer death and/or to suffer complete ruin or destruction. I love when scripture can be applied to the here and now. For me, this scripture is applicable because I’ve been without clear vision for a while now and it has felt like a personal death. With courage and hindsight, I can now share the story of how I lost my way in life as my family faced several dire situations within a 6-month period of time that devastated our lives and lifestyle and literally tried take my husband to his death. With perseverance that didn’t feel like perseverance but simply survival mode, we lived to tell the tale. This post is one of my first steps back into the light of gratefulness and this testimony is about the vision that paved the way allowing my family to forge ahead toward restoration, as God turned things around. 

To begin, in March of 2021, my husband, Paul, was diagnosed with a blood disorder that usually leads to leukemia and was facing the possibility of a Bone Marrow Transplant. This news was shocking and hard to take in.  As a wife and a mom, I had a lot of balls in the air and this news pushed some sort of metaphorical button where my life went into a mind-numbing pause mode.  All the plans I had just went still and then slowly began falling to the ground as I stared into oblivion.  It was months before those balls touched down but, even then, it felt I was still standing there, dazed with no vision whatsoever. 

One of our biggest plans centered around our youngest child, Ava. Her high school graduation was coming up-which included her spring break trip (which I was going on), her prom (which I chaperoning), her graduation party (which we were hosting in our home), etc.  You get the picture.  There were lots of events to manage which meant we were about to become empty-nesters.  To be honest, becoming an Empty-Nester was a mixed-blessing for me, that called for huge emotional adjustments which I pretended to handle well. For some, this transition may not seem like a big deal and may even be exciting. For this creature of comfort who believes in all things family it was life-changing.  My internal question became, “What am I now”?  My private inner dialogue had many components, all clouded with an undertone of uncertainty, because my mind was also on Paul’s diagnosis which added the question, “Is he going to make it through this”.  Everything and I mean everything in our lives was up for grabs. 

First and foremost, I tried not to panic and, of course, did not want to upset our kids and so I underplayed their dad’s diagnosis, wanting to use the wait-and-see tactic.  I “thought” this was courageous and wise but Paul felt deeply unsupported.  This was one of those dangerous bridges that I crossed not knowing if it was the correct plan of action or not. There were some painful discussions and repercussions from that decision, but we made it to the other side.   

Unfortunately, late summer, Paul’s business hit a wall and there was no recourse but to close it down leaving us without an income. We had already been thinking of downsizing and so his business closure and medical diagnosis pushed us along and we put our home on the market and it sold in 1 day.  Now, we have to move our entire household as well as move our daughter to college. Also, Paul was having monthly blood tests and was seeing two different specialists. Getting the results from his tests was stressful because they were indicators of “when” Paul would need the Bone Marrow Transplant. He would almost panic and I’d sit there with a lump in my throat and no visible emotions in order that I not fall apart. Honestly, I “thought” I was being brave…and didn’t explain why I was so stoic and this caused some pain for Paul as well. Again, we made it through.  Each month passed, events came and went, Ava graduated and was moved to Fayetteville, AR and the blood tests kept us on our toes. Changes were on the horizon, that’s for sure; however, as we all know from the last scene in Steal Magnolias, life moves on. 

Well, in August, Ava called home in a lot of pain and wanted to fly home.  We picked her up at the airport at 10pm and decided to take her straight to the ER.  We thought she’d get an antibiotic and we’d head home.  Nope.  She was admitted due to a swollen lymph node and intravenous antibiotics weren’t putting a dent into it. 2 days later, we were called in for a parental discussion with the doctor. I hit the panic button, expecting bad news but thankfully surgery was the next step and Ava was stabilized. Unfortunately, in that same week, our precious Yorkie, Jimbo, was diagnosed with cancer and was put into the ICU while Ava was in the ER because we could not attend to him. I had to put our eldest daughter in charge of Jimbo’s care and I was torn in two, because I couldn’t be in two places at once.  Ava made a full recovery but our sweet doggy passed away the day Ava got out of the hospital. This was excruciating.  Our hearts were broken because we couldn’t spend quality time with him when he needed us. It was a trying time for sure.  This was the same month we sold our home in which we lived for 8 years (longer than any other home we’d ever lived in) and so the bittersweet pain and disruption of our upcoming move was swirling around causing additional heartache. 

When disaster strikes we all respond differently and to be prepared, mentally or otherwise, isn’t really possible because it arrives, uninvited, and takes no prisoners.  In our case, add to the scenario the other issues and responsibilities we already had, such as a sick child, a sick animal AND moving our entire household, and “BOOM”, we found ourselves sitting in a place that felt like complete ruin.  With head down and pain pulsing I lost my way. The normal tempo of tenacity and the usual nuance of personal vision that usually helped me navigate life was turned off in such a way that getting up, dusting myself off and beginning again seemed overwhelming, because it was.  

As a family, we all did what was required. We got up, moved out and moved on.  We did what needed to be done; one thing at a time, one day at a time, one month at a time.  We took steps of faith that can only be described as bold.  My husband kicked into gear and sought any and every remedy for his health including literally choking down holistic Green Juice and taking more vitamins than we now know what to do with.  But, most importantly, we prayed.  Did we flounder during this time? Yes indeed, in many ways.  Did we cry and battle the pain of total fear?  Sadly, yes.  But I must stress the one main thing we did with perseverance was to pray! 

My husband found a faith-healer in our area and with the boldness, I mentioned earlier, we went to be prayed over one Sunday morning.  Ironically, this renowned preacher wasn’t there that day so Paul was prayed over by those leading the service and we were greatly blessed. However, as we headed out the door he said we were going back the next Sunday to be prayed over again.  We did just that! Was that a comfortable move for this small-town girl?  NO. I felt like I was moving through shades of gray due to all the unknowns but kept moving forward.  Did I hold to my faith during all of this?  To tell you the truth I was like a deer in the headlights, lost to my vision of what faith was and barely clinging to a smidge of hope; but, graciously, one specific thing I knew was scripture and I knew that The Word says, “We must hold on to the hope we have….” (Hebrews 10:23). 

 While I tried to cling to hope my husband forged ahead like a warrior. What he actually did was form a plan and, with that, built a vision. Scripture says, “I have set before you life and death; blessings and curses. Now, chose life.” Deuteronomy 30:19 (NIV) My husband set his course to live and was inspired by desperation and great need.  The Bible says, “Let us therefore come boldly before the throne of grace that we may find mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 This is exactly what Paul did, and frankly, it was striking to watch as he moved forward using audacious God-moves. Paul was stirred into action, had a vision and for months he pursued healing.  

That very next Sunday Paul was prayed over the 2nd time.  I was standing next to him.  Wide-eyed and with awe, I physically watched to see what God was going to do.  You see, I was distinctly aware that I should do so because for years I had a lovely card posted on my vision board (that’s still there) that says, “Lord, we don’t know what to do but our eyes are on you.” 2 Chronicles 20:12.  Instinctively, I kept my eyes open and I watched.  As Paul made his need known the minister began to pray.  Immediately, Paul began to say out loud, “I don’t know if I’m breathing in or out.  I don’t know if I am breathing in or out.” My husband didn’t remember saying this but I made a piercing mental note. Let me tell you, in that moment, I was taken aback.  I didn’t know what to do but stand there. Within moments, the prayer time ended and we were just stunned as to what to do next.  I was also prayed over (another great story to share later) and then we gathered our things and simply walked out the door back into our daily life and the daily fight, and to the monthly blood tests that followed.  I knew this then and now; God was up to something and God answers prayers!

A couple of distinct things occurred:  One, I knew that in several places in scripture the Holy Spirit is referenced as a wind and also as breath.  I felt deeply that we had been in the presence of The Holy Spirit. Two, Paul’s monthly blood tests began to improve, month after month. Yes, they would go up and down again but they slowly moved up into the normal range.  Meanwhile, Paul would flat out tell everyone including the nurses, the doctors, the specialists and others that he had been healed by God.  Their responses differed but the Specialist would always caution that Paul would eventually need the Bone Marrow transplant. Time passed but Paul kept professing his healing to everyone. Paul’s numbers continued to remain stable and I suppose enough time passed so the Medical professionals were willing to admit that Paul must have been mis-diagnosed.  Though spiritually, Paul was quick to say he was healed, when it came to the doctors giving him a misdiagnosis, Paul was hesitant receive the good news that he had been waiting on for so long.  With time, it finally sunk in and now we confidently share that Paul was healed through supernatural prayer. 

 I truly laugh knowing that a “misdiagnosis” is frequently the pronounced prognosis when a miracle takes place.  This world simply doesn’t make room for the power of our Living God and the miraculous works of His hands. With that said, what was the one ingredient that paved the way for this miracle healing?  The faith of a vision.  Paul had a vision that included the end-goal of healing and with great faith everything he did moved in that direction.  This is a perfect example of what a vision is.  It’s seeing the end goal and never accepting no.  Conversely, it is accepting the “Yes” and saying “Amen” to the very breath of the Spirit of God.  

“For no matter how many promises God has made

They are “Yes” in Christ.

And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us 

to the glory of God.”

2 Corinthians 1:20

 “Write a vision, make it plain

so that the one who reads it will run.”

Habakkuk 2:2

(Paul had a vision of healing and ran toward it)

“I will stand at my watch

and station myself on the ramparts;

I will look to see what he will say to me.”

Habakkuk 2:1

(I watched to see what God was going to say and do)

Jesus breathed on them and said,

“Receive the Holy Spirit.” 

John 20:22

(The Holy Spirit is Breath)

“Of the angels he says, “He makes his angels winds,

And his ministers a flame of fire.”

Hebrews1:7 ESV

(God’s Angels or ministers are likened to wind)

“So is my word that goes out from my mouth;

It will not return to me empty,

But will accomplish what I desire

 and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

Isaiah 55:11

(God’s Word always fulfills its purpose)

Google Search Quote:

“In the Bible, God’s Spirit is often likened to the wind

 or pictured with imagery related to the wind. 

 In fact, both the Hebrew word ruach (used in the Old Testament)

 and the Greek word pneuma (used in the New Testament)

 can be translated as “wind” or “spirit” (or “breath”).”

Click link below for an amazing

SONG RECOMMENDATION

GOD TURN IT AROUND

BY: Church of the City

(Featuring Jon Reddick)

"God is doing something, right now!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gv8VDqc-os