There are times when life inflicts circumstances beyond our ability to endure-so that when all is said and done- we know we made it through because of an undeniable faith in God. These overwhelming events aren’t typical – for there is a deep and purposed weight to them. They usher pain into our lives that tear at the fabric of our being to the point that we know, without doubt, we shall never be the same. The result of coming-to-the-end of what we think we can sustain is life-changing. We are forced to admit that we simply can’t be who we were before this tragedy came upon us. God’s authority and dominion mandates this truth.
During this season, each and every sunrise burnt our face and scorched our heart so consistently that our daily life began to feel like hell. The night would bring a sleepless silence that was deafening. In the midst of this pain we made major adjustments for there was no other choice.
Our life paused!
~Selah~
We’re not sure how long we lingered in the anguish of circumstance- for we lost the desire to mark off any form of time. But; then, on a day that we thought would never come, the sun’s heat weakened and our tattered heart felt some relief. We found a tiny amount of clarity and we realized it was ok to look back; bravely we did so.
In our minds-eye we’re there now. With closed eyes and head bowed we turn and feel the sun our back and a cool wind on our face that flows over and beyond us. Opening our eyes- we’re shocked to see how far we’ve come- as we take in the steepest, war-torn valley we’ve ever seen. Our heart and mind find great relief in the visual confirmation of this tremendous up-hill battle. We know, in every sense, we’ve made it through. In spite of human reason, we found a way to get beyond the devastation this circumstance wrought. We even got through those nights when we awoke in a fearful panic wondering what was wrong…and then remembered.
The journey was heart-breaking, mind-piercing, soul crushing pain that only total change could soothe. Change, indeed, brought us to this very point. Mentally, we become aware of time and with amazing inner-strength we build a redemptive memorial-one that will be forever etched on our soul; there is no other way to admit this fated assignment has run its course. We’re at the perfect place to do so; at very top of our mountain-of-circumstance. This vital marker is spiritual in nature and wields some peace… so we sit down.
Another slight wind of change hits our face and, because we are now aware of the passage of time, we smile. Knowing we’ve been indelibly changed, we smile. Our throat tightens, sweat drips down our back and tears of relief well up; we let them flow again and let go “again” and, for the thousandth time, we let God, again. This letting go isn’t a “giving up” but a “letting it be”. For the first time in our lives we understand “God’s peace” and confess it is not of this world.
We rise, turn and walk over the mountaintop onto the other side AMAZED that we survived to this point, or at all. Finally, we are on the down-hill. Wide-eyed, we notice the colors of life are visible again and we admit that we came very near to emotional and physical death, but we survived! Our heart is still pumping, but in a different way. Because of this we see things differently now. We realize that God never left us, that He gave us the strength to endure and we can finally admit that it’s time to purposely breathe again…. live and participate again on planet Earth.
Our journey in life continues!
Our Lord stands watch on the mountain-top as we continue down paths laid out for us that lead out beyond green pastures and beside still waters… and He gently prays over us,
Our Lord stands watch on the mountain-top as we continue down paths laid out for us that lead out beyond green pastures and beside still waters… and He gently prays over us,
“Lo, I am with you; even to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20
Matthew 28:20
FOR NICOLE-
Only the Lord knows why! I'd surmise, "For distinct purposes."
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
Perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned;
Struck down, but not destroyed.”
2 Corinthians 4: 8-9
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The Garden
By: Kari Jobe
There is “death and resurrection in every single seed”.
Kari Jobe
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In Over My Head
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“Whether I sink; Whether I swim….
It makes no difference when I’m in over my head.”
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