Frustrated With Imperfection! Page 35

Frustrated With Imperfection

Have you ever been frustrated by your own imperfections?  It is something that I battle with daily.  I want to be a great friend but I bump against my insecurities and short-comings and miss the mark.  I desperately want to be a great mom but I realize every day that I am not teaching my kids all they need to know about this ugly world- my personal example falls short and I disappoint myself and send mixed messages to their growing minds.  I want to be a wonderful sister but I stumble as I try to maintain relationships that time and distance muddle.  I want to be that perfect wife but daily issues, old wounds, and past resentments rise up and pull out that personality trait that deserves its own name Bitterness, and it veils my eyes to the love that I should know so well.

I want to be a perfect example of Christ but again there is no human way I will be.  I was created imperfect…and in human form will never measure up-though my heart seeks it, my mind desires it and my actions strive for it.  You see, my spiritual heart pumps for my Christian beliefs…but my human heart pushes for its own desires.  My mind soaks up scriptural truths but after many years of being flooded with earthly noise it deviates and begins to contemplate earthly concerns and forgets to be faithful. My actions strive to remain centered on godly deeds and correct choices…but my human will shows up and destroys my good intentions with its selfishness.

Frustrated, I spiritually fall to my knees in disappointment.  Will I positively affect those I love; my friends, my children, my family, my spouse -or even the strangers with whom I have contact?  It seems impossible!  I know my heart and what lurks there.  I know my short-comings and how hard it is to rise above them.  We can all strive daily to love and be loved…but, if you’re like me you sometimes ask, Man, is this all my life will add up to?”  It is a constant back and forth, a constant need to pick myself up and begin again….a constant falling short.  Ah, amazingly, there it is….the summation of my discontent!   We all fall short of perfection.  Romans 3:23 says:

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

In the infamous book My Utmost For His Highest, the devotional for September 25th spoke to my heart and explained this frustration I have with my imperfections.  It says:

“If we are to be disciples of Jesus, we must be made disciples supernaturally.  And as long as we consciously maintain the determined purpose to be His disciples, we can be sure that we are not disciples.  Jesus, says, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you...” (John 15:16).  That is the way the grace of God begins.  It is a constraint we can never escape; we can disobey it, but we can never start it or produce it ourselves.  We are drawn to God by a work of His supernatural grace, and we can never trace back to find where the work began.  Our Lord’s making of a disciple is supernatural.  He does not build on any natural capacity of ours at all.  God does not ask us to do the things that are naturally easy for us-He only asks us to do the things that we are perfectly fit to do through His grace, and that is where the cross we must bear will always come.”1

When I accepted Christ as my savior, God began a work in me….to supernaturally change me from the inside out!   This change is achieved spiritually, through God’s grace. However and unfortunately, human nature continues to entice me to strive to be Christ-like.  As the above excerpt states “it is a constraint we can never escape”.   With great effort I continue to struggle against my constraints, unable to maintain any semblance of Christianity.  The book of Romans Chapter 7 talks about our struggle. 

“I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do,
 but what I hate I do.” 
Romans 7:15

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. 
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing.
  Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it,
 but it is the sin living in me that does it.”
Romans 7: 18-20

My friend, sin entices.  It zeros in on our human heart, infiltrates and takes up residence.  It is deep within our being and so covert it seems normal.   We simply do not have the natural capacity to be a Christian or the mental stamina to maintain the loving nature we are called to-sin makes sure of this!  This is the essence of my frustration! And, this is the very reason our lives are really about a spiritual pursuit!   Sin is part of this natural world but, amazingly, scripture from the Holy Bible has the antidote!  Galatians 5:16 says:

“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit
and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.
 They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.”

If we are led by the Spirit of God we are no longer under the law but under grace. We do not have to strive or try because the Spirit of God has taken up residence in our soul and goes with us through this sinful world providing His merciful forgiveness to keep us upright and just.   With God’s grace and mercy we humans find redemption from sin and imperfection-we are forgiven; restored by God’s perfect love! 

To explain further, Deuteronomy 30: 19 says  “…chose life so that you and your children may live.” This is the answer!  We must choose life by choosing faith in God- who is life, the creator of life and the reason we live! We sometimes make it so difficult…but continuing with Deuteronomy Chapter 30, scripture goes over this so eloquently:

“Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.
 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask,
“Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so that we my obey it?” 
Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask,
“Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?”
 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so that you may obey it.”

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.
 For I command you today to love the Lord your God,
 to walk in his ways and to keep his commands, decrees, and laws;
then you will live and increase and the Lord your God will bless you
 in the land you are entering to possess.”
Deuteronomy 30: 11-16

We are commanded to follow the decrees of the Lord our God but with our heart, soul and mind we are free to choose.  You see, the link that ties sin to mankind is what is called free-will or ability to choose!  Living on earth we know very well that we have life, prosperity, death and destruction all around us and it is within those very choices that we find blessings or destruction.   Deuteronomy 30 is an Old Testament writing that sets the course of life itself.  In the New Testament (in Matthew 22:37) Jesus, after being asked what the greatest commandment was, referred back to this commandment:

Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.   This is the first and greatest commandment.
 And the second is like it:  ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
 All the Law of the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

The two greatest commandments call us to love!  This is the cross we bear; to live in a sinful world as an example of love- without the human capacity to do so but with the faith that God will provide the way!  We are all commanded to love the Lord, God will all our heart, with all our soul and with all our mind. This calling is all-encompassing, just as the scripture describes and is saying that we are to love God with every molecule of our being!   We are also called to love others just like we love ourselves-with no differentiation-but we seem to have issues accomplishing this!  This brings me back to my original subject-and that is that we humans love imperfectly and we fall short because of sin.  Scripture encourages us in 1^st Peter 4:8

                   “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

I personally thank the Lord that love covers a multitude of sin!  Yes, we will remain imperfect till the day we leave this earth and within our imperfections we are called to love deeply!  With this truth and for those I love I share the following scripture:

“I thank my God every time I remember you.
 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy,
 because of your partnership in the gospel
 from the first day until now,
 being confident of this,
 that He who began a good work in you will carry it out until the day of completion.”
 Philippians 1:6

In honor of my husband who loves deeply, gives generously, and lives passionately!

Song Recommendation:
10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)
By:   Matt Redman

1-My Utmost For His Highest (Updated Edition); copyright 1995, 1992 by Oswald Chambers Publications Association Ltd. Orginal edition copyrighted in 1935 by Dodd, Mead & Company Inc. All rights reserved.